Jan 14, 2006 | Uncategorized |
I don't think of myself as a literary snob. Hell, I write romance novels, the red-headed bastard stepchild of the novel writing world (don't get me started on why romance novels are not all trash, or on why I believe they are given that label in the first place, etc, and often by people who've never read one or who did read one and it was, unfortunately, deserving of the name).
I enjoy and appreciate popular fiction. I don't think all literature is grand, but since I am in pursuit of an advanced degree in the field, I have read many works of classic fiction, often more than once. That's why this article makes me giggle.
In the tradition of best book lists everywhere, writer Matthew Baldwin compiles his own list . . .from the Amazon.com review section, where some folks seem to not, uh, appreciate the classics. Some favorites:
The Catcher in the Rye (1951), Author: J.D. Salinger. “So many other good books…don’t waste your time on this one. J.D. Salinger went into hiding because he was embarrassed.” [Yeah, what was up with that kid anyway? Why was he disconnected with the world around him and how come he just couldn't get it together? No danger of that happening now that we have Prozac, so toss this trash!]
Lord of the Flies (1955), Author: William Golding. “I am obsessed with Survivor, so I thought it would be fun. WRONG!!! It is incredibly boring and disgusting. I was very much disturbed when I found young children killing each other. I think that anyone with a conscience would agree with me.” [Um, I think that was the point. You are supposed to be disgusted. And horrified. And it's supposed to tell you something about humankind. But it ain't no Survivor!]
Mrs. Dalloway (1925), Author: Virginia Woolf. “The only good thing to say about this “literary” drivel is that the person responsible, Virginia Woolf, has been dead for quite some time now. Let us pray to God she stays that way.” [Well thank God! My thesis is on VW, includes this book, and I've been searching for something to say about it. My search is over. Can someone please get me the citation information?]
To Kill a Mockingbird (1960), Author: Harper Lee. “I don’t see why this book is so fabulous. I would give it a zero. I find no point in writing a book about segregation, there’s no way of making it into an enjoyable book. And yes I am totally against segregation.” [Because of course we no longer have segregation and people of all races/nations/creeds get along perfectly. No need to learn about the unfairness and injustice done to people by folks who think they are superior. Natually, no one thinks they are superior anymore. We know we're all equal.]
Found via Hoosier Musings on the Road to Emmaus.
Jan 14, 2006 | Uncategorized
A friend was recently bemoaning her fate as a writer. She received a rejection and was positive this meant she should line the bird cage with her manuscript, turn the computer over to her kids, and learn to grow exotic flowers instead of beating her head against the brick wall of publishing for even another second.
Fear not, sayeth I. For behold, I bring you Ursula K. Lequin's rejection letter:
Ursula K. Le Guin writes extremely well, but I'm sorry to have to say that on the basis of that one highly distinguishing quality alone I cannot make you an offer for the novel. The book is so endlessly complicated by details of reference and information, the interim legends become so much of a nuisance despite their relevance, that the very action of the story seems to be to become hopelessly bogged down and the book, eventually, unreadable. The whole is so dry and airless, so lacking in pace, that whatever drama and excitement the novel might have had is entirely dissipated by what does seem, a great deal of the time, to be extraneous material. My thanks nonetheless for having thought of us. The manuscript of The Left Hand of Darkness is returned herewith.
Ursula survived. So can you. 🙂 Write on, fellow scribblers, write on! (And remind me, when I start to wallow, that I posted this.)
Jan 13, 2006 | Uncategorized
You got anything more interesting than Consumer Reports? 
Jan 12, 2006 | Uncategorized |
Ran across these extremely helpful Microsoft Word tips by romance author Monica Burns. Monica instructs you how to create a macro for repetitive words. I did this yesterday and it wasn't hard. The macro then searches for a word you specify and highlights its usage. It can be quite sobering to scroll through a document and see such passive words as saw, heard and felt highlighted again and again. There's also a macro to reverse the highlights, so be sure to install that one too.
Monica also has instructions for making your own ARC (advanced reading copy). Very helpful. She provides instructions for .doc, .rtf, and .pdf formats.
I found the macros easy to do and I got it right the first time. Give it a try!
Jan 12, 2006 | Uncategorized
I can't believe I haven't posted since Monday. I meant to, but somehow got sidetracked. First, there was the SASE brouhaha between Miss Snark and Joe Konrath (search for SASE in both blogs since there was more than one post). Then there was the whole James Frey thing, which really just pisses me off. He LIED. Why all the dissembling about what memoirs mean and what's really lying anyway and oh it's mostly true and blah blah blah when the book says non-fiction on the spine? Non-fiction means to me that what is contained within these pages is as close to the truth as it can be (taking into consideration that memories are inherently faulty). Oprah touted this book as a lifesaving heartwarming true story of pulling oneself up by the bootstraps.
But saying you spent three months in jail where you bonded with an illiterate murderer and helped him appreciate Tolstoy when you really only spent 5 hours in lockup (and never even got near a murderer or Tolstoy) is WRONG. And Oprah defending him on Larry King disappoints me more than I can say. She says the controverys is “much ado about nothing” when she ought to be saying, Hey, I'm as disappointed as you are. I was moved by the book, but I wish I'd known what was true and what wasn't before I recommended it to others.
The almighty dollar rules, however. And I'm not saying I'm so naive that I don't realize the American public gets fed lies on a daily basis and keeps asking for more. Reality shows aren't all that real after all. They're scripted. Doesn't stop people from wanting them. We like the drama of seeing people under pressure. We also like underdog stories. We want to see Everyman (or woman) triumph. We want to hoist them on our backs and parade them around the forum huzzahing the whole way, because if they can do it, anyone can do it. We reward them with our admiration and our dollars. The incentive for mischief in pursuit of that reward is inherent, especially as our need for the triumphant Everyman erodes our necessity for proof positive.
Glad I write fiction. But maybe I should consider a memoir. I did spend an afternoon in jail once. Of course, it was a tour and I was about 14, but I'm sure I can beef that part up a bit. I had a boyfriend that got arrested once. Does that count?
