I know who you are because you are because you seem to pop up in entertainment news and celebrity gossip quite a lot. I also know that you are a very, very tanned person. So when I read in an article recently that you would never have plastic surgery because you are afraid of needles and anesthetic, I had to shake my head sadly.

Here’s the thing, my dear. You are young, in your 20s I think, and so all that tanned skin is quite supple and tight right now. But you just wait. When you hit 35, 40 if you’re lucky, you may start to think differently about surgery. Because tanned skin is damaged skin. The only way the skin can react to UV damage is to brown. As brown as you are, that’s a whole lot of damage to those delicate cells. It’s going to sag, trust me. I’ve seen it in my tanned friends who looked awesome at 20, and then looked like they were over 50 when they were barely 40.

Your skin is going to sag when the collagen fibers stop doing the job of holding it up, and you may be looking at plastic surgery in a whole new light then.

On the other hand, there’s another danger of which you seem either blissfully unaware or you think it won’t or can’t happen to you. Skin cancer. Tanning beds concentrate the UV light, and more and more younger people are presenting with skin cancers these days. You are dark skinned and have dark eyes and dark hair, but that’s not a guarantee, especially the more you subject your skin to intense UV light. It’s not just the tanning beds, of course. Sun exposure does the same thing.

And if you do get skin cancer, guess what? Surgery. If you get the worst kind there is, melanoma, the surgeon will need to take margins. You will probably be knocked out for this surgery, though not always. There are definitely needles involved.

Either way, Snooki dear, I think surgery is in your future. I’m sorry you’re afraid of needles and anesthetic, but I think you need to realize that if you continue the way you’re going, surgery will become a distinct possibility at some point. The damage is already done, considering how brown you are, but I do hope you will think twice about so much tanning. Taking care of your skin now could lessen the impact of the damage. Besides, with your money, can’t you afford a really great spray tan?