Really, I don’t know the number, but I’m sure I’ve learned quite a few things over my lifetime so far. This next one is one I thought I knew. Obviously, I did not.

Never, ever drink anything the party host calls Artillery Punch, especially if you aren’t a hard liquor drinker in the first place. It will knock you on your *ss.

Now, I am a careful drinker. I’m old enough to know better than to a) mix a variety of beverages or b) to keep drinking long after the room has begun to swim. My preferred beverage is red wine and I know exactly when to stop.

But the host had this beautiful glass decanter filled with what looked like sangria. Even had fruit in it. I should have dumped the little cup after the first sip. No, I did not. I drank it. I drank three more over the course of about 3.5 hours. (We’re talking a small plastic cup, like a whiskey tumbler.) I think that’s a reasonable rate of consumption quite honestly.

Or it would have been if the punch had been normal. Yeah, I could tell it was heavily laced with booze. I should have watched the man mix it before I drank it. Because, later in the evening, he mixed more. It was whole bottles of booze, basically. I forget what gave it the pink color, but I don’t think it was anything with Vitamin C in it.

Sunday, the headache from h*ll descended upon me. Not a migraine, so I couldn’t shoot up for it. Just had to endure the awful pounding and the queasy stomach that arrived a bit later.

Life lesson # 339? I am too old for a hangover.

Learn any life lessons of your own lately?