So today is the big reading day. And since that's on my mind — the preparing, practicing, planning — I'm not getting as much done on the thesis as I wish. I've read one journal article. I've fiddled with my Works Cited page, because of course that always evolves as the paper gets written. I've reread the intro I've written on To the Lighthouse. It's time to analyze the book, so of course I'm here, writing this post instead. It'll gel soon, and I'll hammer out a page or two (hopefully more) before time to figure out what I'm wearing tonight.
The cats have been driving me to distraction this morning as well. First, Nimitz has been a typical kittenish young cat: climbing screens, racing around the house, attacking Thumper, getting onto my sideboard and rattling crystal, attempting to use the desktop computer in the other room to spam the universe, and all the shouting in the world hasn't helped.
And Thumper keeps coming over and begging for food. Soon as Nimitz calms down for two seconds, there's Thumper, sitting at my feet, pawing at my leg, and meowing. It's enough to make a girl want to go to the library!
But, this is a writing blog, so I thought I'd see if I could relate the process of thesis writing to fiction writing. I know I seem to be like any young college kid (oh, if only) who's cramming and writing at the very last second, but the truth is I've been reading these texts for the last two years. The info is in there, so I'm not truly writing a 60+ page master's thesis from scratch in three weeks. Apparently, I just don't work in nice, manageable stretches. I meet my deadlines, but I'm usually doing it all at the last minute. I've prepared for it, but I just can't seem to make it coalesce until I'm under pressure. Is this an indication of how my fiction-career is going to be?
When I write this fast, I don't do much changing. I edit, of course, but what comes out is pretty finalized. I think it's more natural, too. Fiction is somewhat different. I have no problem scrapping the execution of an idea and trying it another way. (Well, I don't like it, but I'll do it.) I'd throw a screaming fit if I had to do that with the thesis.
In the meantime, as I work at academic writing, ideas for stories keep popping up. I think it's a natural avoidance response. My brain wants to stop working and start playing. That said, do you think it's possible to trick your brain into working on your fiction when you feel blocked? What if you decided to write something really boring and technical, gave yourself an assignment and started researching and getting down to business? Do you think your brain would, assuming it works like mine, suddenly want to work on that story about Aunt Petunia that you've been stuck in for the last month?
Just a thought, and one I'm sure has been written about in various writer magazines. I do think, maybe, that for some people comfort equals diminished drive (hinging on the previous self-sabotage post). Don't you know people who have day jobs and want so badly to be full time writers? They write all the time, whenever they can get a scrap of time, and work hard to achieve the goal. Some of them get there, too.
But what happens when you get the free time? When you don't have to work or worry about the bills being paid or having health insurance? Is there a human tendency to slack when in comfort, or is it dependent on individuals? Do we need pressure to write?
I'd be interested in knowing how you feel about comfort versus pressure. (Speaking of pressure, I'm off to the land of the Woolf….)
For me, deadlines are always the catalyst for my best writing. I’ve always attributed it to the fact that in any given moment I’m thinking about many different things and squeezing the story out between the “to do” list of my day job, the birthday party I’m planning for a kid, the appointments I must make for the cat…once the deadline looms, I can justify focusing totally on the writing. Good luck with your thesis!
I’ve always done my best work when I’m writing to a deadline. When I was writing my column for the Crisis Line… I had to submit them to the editor in batches of 6 and without exception I’d be writing those columns in the two to three days before they were due even though I’d had the previous 6 weeks to work on them.
I’m not good at meeting self-imposed deadlines though, so I have to trick myself and one of the ways I discovered to trick myself is by getting involved in either writing workshops or writing groups that meet regularly to share their work. This gives me an external deadline. And even then… you’ll find me typing and editing and printing out copies right up until the last minute before I have to leave for a meeting.
So I do think the more pressure I feel, the better and faster I write, because it forces me to focus solely on the task at hand and not allow myself to be distracted. And also… I think knowing this about ourselves allows us to then turn it into a tool to use to our advantage.
How did the reading go?
Hey Lynn…
I understand the temptation to work right up to the deadline, so I make an arbitrary deadline early…
When I have too many deadlines, I get too stressed and then I become extremely ill. I learned in school (while I was getting my B.A.) that if I did my assignments early that I was less stressed.
🙂
Hi, Kat! Thanks for commenting. 🙂 One vote for deadlines and pressure! I agree that it’s easy to think about many things that need doing from day to day, and therefore diluting the energy it would take to focus on one specific task. Of course we must do it to get through our daily lives if we’re normal people who can’t afford housekeepers and nannys and personal assistants and all that! If we don’t make those appointments and take care of those tasks, it won’t get done, which naturally cuts down on the amount of energy we have to concentrate on one specific thing. 🙂
Hi Sue! Another vote for pressure. 🙂 Good point about tricking yourself. I find that I need the reality of a concrete deadline that I can’t fudge, like with this thesis, because if I self-impose, I can always push it back a bit. I’ve given myself deadlines, even with the thesis, but I knew they were flexible and so didn’t need to really meet them.
Writing workshops or groups are a good idea, especially if it’s the sort of group who insists that everyone have material to share. I was in a group that didn’t require that, and so it was easy to show up without stuff each week. 🙁
Hi, Flood! It went all right, better than I thought and different than I thought too. I’ll post about it, with pictures, soon.
Hey, Cyn! You and Patricia and those papers you two would start on the first week of class. Boy, if it was due in 8 weeks, you guys were writing them on the second day. I was never that disciplined!
Remember that class with Dr. Zum.? Two 6 pagers due in stages or one 12 pager due at the end. I started the 12 pager two days before deadline. Damn I sweated that one. You, of course, did the two papers and had them done early.
Put me down as a pressure writer, too. The GH used to be good for that – I always finished up 2 days before the deadline and had to pay Priority Mail to get it there in time.
I don’t have a current writing group and it lets me procrastinate far too much.
Ah geez.. I am not so disciplined any more. I do a book review for the Vasculitis Foundation… I read the book five days before it is due, which has me writing it about the day before it is due.
What happened???