Today, I had a million things to do, as seems usual lately. I got my hair cut, which really isn't a big deal and never takes long. I have very long hair, I get about 4 inches lopped off once a year, end of story.

Then I went shopping for thank you cards. I'm out and need new ones. I have to send one to the editor who read my work for the Great Expectations contest. That's when the trouble began.

Who knew this would be so hard?

It was easy to eliminate the cards that had chunky cartoon animals in bright colors. (Thank you for the baby shower gift, though the card just said “Thank You.”) The wedding ones, with champagne flutes and silver bows. The ones with big polka dots. The neon striped cards.

Ah, but then it got hard. I went over to the Hawaiian section and fell in love with the muted tropical print cards that had a very tasteful “Mahalo” in gold lettering on the front. It's me because I live here, it's different, it's so pretty, I love it.

And then I started to think.

Um, who knows what the hell mahalo means if they don't live in or have never been to Hawaii? Would I look stupid sending this card? Would she think I'm an idiot? Would it be the equivalent of the neon pink paper submission designed to stand out from the rest?

Oh, the agony!

I put the mahalo cards back, much as I coveted the darn things, and returned to the Hallmark section. I picked up a shiny one that could almost be tropical with the pink flower on the front.

Oh dear God, is that glitter?

(There she is, seated at her desk, opening her mail, when out of the envelope comes a pretty pink flower card with a nice thank you on it. It's shiny, glittery, but no big deal. Until she goes to lunch and her coworker tells her she has a piece of glitter on her nose. No matter how hard she tries to wipe it away, the damn thing just stays there, glowing and blinking. Back to the office she goes, takes out the card to read the name again, and vows to remember forever the idiot who sent her glitter.)

Back went the cards.

I swear I spent half an hour staring at those damn cards before I finally settled on an understated black card with gold lettering. It's simple, it doesn't glow, and all it says is “Thank You.”

Now why in the hell is that so hard? I swear my career (the one I hope to have) flashed before my eyes. And it's just a thank you card. Jeez, this is going to be a long road….