Writing is such a solitary life that sometimes I go whole weeks without leaving the house. If not for my husband, I'd have no human interaction at all. This week, I'm revising my latest book so that I can turn it in to my editor and move on to the next story. For some reason, it's really hard this time. Not the revisions, which aren't that bad, but the sitting and working.
I want to go shopping. I want to have lunch with friends. I want to read and do some things around the house that need doing. I want to wake up and have the whole day free to myself.
I love what I do, make no mistake. But sometimes it's so lonely that I just want to pick up the phone and call a friend (and I'm not much of a telephone talker, I assure you). I think I'm also a bit irritated about things going on in publishing these days. It's an exciting time to be a writer. There are more opportunities than ever to get your work out there, but there's also a whole lot of gasbaggery going on in regards to the various publishing methods and who thinks they are right, right, right about which method is best.
All the white noise makes it hard to concentrate sometimes.
Perhaps there's so much discourse online because we're all living that solitary life, and that's where we turn for interaction. It's good to have that online connection, but it's also isolating in its own way. I know I should turn it off, and yet at times like this, I think if I turned it off I'd have no interaction at all.
And then there's the fear and uncertainty while working on a book. Is this the worst book ever written? Or is it pretty good? Will this one end my career? Or will I get fan mail telling me how much someone loved it? That's one of the hardest things to deal with, friends. The idea that you don't want to disappoint anyone, but knowing you will. Knowing that someone will hate your work no matter what you do and will take to the internet to say bad things about you, the book, and your poor cat too.
You can't write with the aim to please everyone, and I promise you I don't, but it's difficult sometimes to imagine all the crap you're going to get for that virgin heroine, or the secret baby, or the bodyguard hero. There's a lot of second-guessing in the writerly life, I think. There is for me, though I've never changed something or done something just to make it easier for someone to stomach.
So, I'm back to these revisions while turning my head to stare out the window from time to time and sighing wistfully. (Yes, I know I just spent two weeks in Europe, and maybe that's part of the problem — like going from 100mph to a full stop in the space of a second.) In the meantime, I'm going to think about the upcoming holiday, the fact my in-laws will be visiting, and all the yummy things we're going to eat. And then I get to look forward to a friend's visit where we will discuss books and plots and all things writerly for one nice long weekend.
Yes, writing is a solitary life — but it's also a pretty darn good one. I'm writing this in my pajamas and there is no commute. 😉
I feel all your angst, Lynn, especially about the sitting & writing bit. I have so much *other* stuff to do, but the writing has to come first. As for the angst about who hates your book… I don’t think that EVER goes away! Sigh. But the pajamas part is good.
@Kate Hewitt: Aw, sorry you feel it too! But it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my angst. Some days you just want to turn off the computer and forget it’s there! And then others you can’t imagine doing anything but working on the latest story.
Hi Lynn: I always go through a lull and downtime after a big trip where I get to play and have fun and be with people. I’m a people person so sitting in front of the computer all day is hard for me. And when autumn weather arrives, I just want to get out and play more. Shop. Eat lunch. Read a book in the waning sunshine. I try to strike the balance, but it is tough. And with no money to justify my sitting here all day I sometimes feel bad about how I let the house go or let errands drop. Sometimes the only interaction I get is at the grocery store (which is probably why I go there a lot for “little things”). This week I had to get my mammogram done and they called and asked me to come for a repeat on one side. I know it’s probably nothing, but sitting at home with just me, the computer, my story that I too worry about not being good enough, and no outside interaction is tough. I ended up calling a friend in DC, but if I was there, I’d have folded the laptop down and hauled off to a winery with her or gone for a long walk to take my mind off my worries.
As for the publishing industry gasbaggery–well I try not to get in the fray. I have my personal goal and dream and I hope and pray I will get the elusive call from my favorite publishing house 😉 but in the meantime, I keep all my options open–that’s what this is all about. Options.
I love writing. I love crafting new stories. I love other writers. And I love being around them. I hope you get a boost when you go to the next HOD meeting (which I must miss unfortunately) and once you’re through with the edits, or even if not, lunch is always served nearby if you want a talk/walk/brainstorm session.
Hugs!
@Christine: You’re so right about the tripitis! It’s hard to get back into the groove when you’ve been out having fun. Hugs on the call back, and I do hope it’s nothing!
Good for you for knowing what you want out of publishing! There’s such a temptation, I think, to rush things that might not be ready into e-print on Kindle, Nook, etc. You get one chance to make a first impression with readers. I know I need an editor, no matter how many books I’ve written so far!
Lunch soon sounds great! 🙂
Thanks Lynn. You know I was very excited when I got the R&R from the editor because I finally could see what they wanted from me as I fixed the story. And it made me really focus on how I revise another story that I plan to query them with as well as focus on how to write the next story for them. It was a HUGE lightbulb moment. Now I have to execute, but I am working hard and hope to have the good fortune to share them one day with the editors. It would be such a gratifying experience and I know it would liberate my writing. I just can’t imagine NOT having an editor have a go at my manuscript before it was published.
And good news. I’m a-okay and mighty relieved about it. Scary moment, but I did get a trip to a cool winery in Nashville afterward as a way of celebrating. And I learned a lot, too, that reinforced the importance of getting mammograms done.
Happy Writing and see you when we’re finished all our hard work. I see a drink, an appie, and a good chat in the future 🙂
sounds like we need to have lunch. I’m free Friday…
@Kimberly Lang: I definitely need lunch!
Lynn, it’s completely normal to feel this way after such a whirlwind trip. You got to see and do so many exciting things that now anything else seems, well… uncomparable. Happens to everyone. The holidays should fix you right up, if not tire you out again. LOL! 😉
You’re always so open about what’s going on with your writing. I love that about you and your blog posts. I think that’s what makes you appealing to readers and I know that comes through in your books. Meaning, the flavor of your stories is like a really good wine worth savoring each and every time, via every page. Whatever happens with readers out there in the world of books, remember that the majority LOVE your stories. What does Spock say in one of the Star Trek movies? The cost of one for the good of all (?). I’m summarizing but this is true. Nevermind the single voice shouting out nonsense. It is the chorus that echoes off the rafters that everyone will remember.
So glad you’re getting to move on to another adventure with new characters. That’s always great fun!