It's been one of those weeks, or couple of weeks, when life has moved at a breakneck pace and I'm still huffing and puffing and trying to catch up. You have heard all about my RWA conference, but shortly after I returned home, we made a quick trip to Louisiana to see my grandmother. She's in a nursing home, and she'd recently been moved to the hospital with an infection and a distinct lack of will to live. We went down there not knowing what we'd find, but she took a turn for the better. She's back in the nursing home now and promising to eat and get stronger if we'll take her to Wal-Mart when we come back. She's always loved Wal-Mart.
I was glad to see her (if I told you how many years it's been since I've seen her, you'd be shocked) and sad too. She used to be a bold, brash woman who chain-smoked, cussed, and read paperback novels like there was no tomorrow. Going to her house for a couple of weeks in the summer was a supreme treat because she had a room crammed absolutely full of novels. And she didn't care what I read. I remember reading 9 and 1/2 Weeks once and being shocked at the sensuality of it. There were horror novels, romances, women's fiction, science fiction, etc. I read lots of stuff, so much that I can't remember everything. It was like living in a library, especially since the room I stayed in was the library room. I was surrounded by books. (And, unfortunately, the scent of cigarette smoke.)
Grandma doesn't read anymore, mostly because she's weak and can't see well. I gave her a copy of my book (large print) just in case, but I'm not sure she'll read it. Which is okay. I think just having it there is enough. Though it was good to see her, I came away with a horror of nursing homes and a bit of anger that she did this to herself. See, she wouldn't stop smoking, no matter how sick she got, no matter how smoking ruined her body. Smoking doesn't just give you lung cancer. I learned this past weekend that it can debilitate you so bad you have to be hooked up to a catheter and have nurses change you because you can no longer get out of bed.
You may wonder how I can be certain it's the smoking that did this. Grandma has two sisters, one younger and one older. They are spry, capable women who still have all their motor functions and who live in their own homes. They don't smoke, and they exercise. Grandma chain-smoked and ate whatever in the hell she wanted. And she never exercised. So yes, it's a combination of factors, but I can't help but think how differently it would be if she'd taken better care of herself, if she'd listened to the doctor's advice and given up the cigarettes. She could still be in her home, reading books, going for walks, enjoying life. Instead, she's in a prison for old people. A soul-crushing, depressing place that smells like boiled pasta, urine, and mold.
I guess I sound like a public service announcement, but I do hope that you will take care of yourselves. Give up bad habits, start healthy ones, and read romance. Speaking of romance, Spanish Magnate, Red-Hot Revenge is available in stores NOW. I'm so excited about it! Even though I went to Louisiana for a somber mission, I still managed to get into a couple of bookstores and sign my books. It was great to see them so far from my home, and to be welcomed so warmly.
I'm working on my next book (my 4th for Presents), so better get busy. What are you up to today? Writing? Reading? Exercising? 😉
You left out the visit to see “The Big Whoopie” I mean El Wappo. LOL !
I’ll never forget the Big Whoopie visit. Or El Whoppo, which more befits a 15 foot alligator.
Writing Partner and I are working on getting our WIP ready to submit to the folks who requested it at conference and on our contest entry for Dorchester’s Textnovel contest.
I am also working to get ready to go back to school.
I am glad that your grandmother improved a bit while you were there to see her. It sounds like you have some great memories of her which is probably why the life she is having to live now is so frustrating to you.
At least you got to give her a book ( am sure she is so proud of you!) and have a good visit. 🙂
S
Hey, Stephanie! You and that partner of yours are on a roll! Best of luck. And best of luck with the dreaded first day of school…. 🙂
I’m glad you got to see your grandmother again even if you are mad at her for what she did to herself. You would never forgive yourself if you hadn’t visited. And even if she doesn’t read your book at least she knows you love her.
Hi, EllenToo! You’re right and I’m very glad I got down there finally. Even if she can’t read the book, just having it there to show gives her pleasure. And that’s enough for me. 🙂
Watching those we love make mistakes and then pay for them is not for the fainthearted. My father smoked two packs a day for the majority of his life and then, only when he found out he had colon cancer, did he slack off, but he never quit until 2 years before he died of a pulminary embolism brought on by COPD and surgery on an auerotic aneurism. Watching my 65 year old dad exist on oxygen 24/7, gasping for each and every breath, was pure agony. He died young and I will be forever haunted by images of how dibilitated he’d become in the prime of his life.
I’ve learned from what my father went through but many in my family haven’t. They still smoke and live like there is no tomorrow.
Love is the greatest high humanity will ever experience. That’s what makes romance extraordinary and why it’s the best-selling fiction around the world. The message we need to send out to everyone is this… put away old habits and live life to the fullest. Immerse yourself into each and every moment. Laugh, wrap your arms around another human being, love, stand in awe at nature’s wonder, never forgetting life is short. We each have a legacy to leave behind us. Which will that legacy be?
Sorry for my rant… 😯 There is just too little time to waste on addiction and negativity. And sadly, too many hard earned dollars are spent to support the wrong cause.
Wishing your grandmother good health and happiness, Lynn. Hang in there. She cherishes you and I’m sure is quite proud of all you’ve accomplished. 😀
Kathy, amen sister! That’s it exactly. She has COPD too, and that’s what’s robbing her of her vigor. Sixty-five IS young by today’s standards. My grandma is 76 — but my FIL is 75 and looks so much better. He doesn’t need help eating or dressing or any of that. He still has a good life. And so do the great aunts.
Hugs for the loss of your dad. I remember when it happened, and I’m sorry you had to watch him go through that when it could have been so different. But people make their own choices, don’t they? We can’t stop them. Too bad sometimes. 🙁