I don't think of myself as a literary snob. Hell, I write romance novels, the red-headed bastard stepchild of the novel writing world (don't get me started on why romance novels are not all trash, or on why I believe they are given that label in the first place, etc, and often by people who've never read one or who did read one and it was, unfortunately, deserving of the name).
I enjoy and appreciate popular fiction. I don't think all literature is grand, but since I am in pursuit of an advanced degree in the field, I have read many works of classic fiction, often more than once. That's why this article makes me giggle.
In the tradition of best book lists everywhere, writer Matthew Baldwin compiles his own list . . .from the Amazon.com review section, where some folks seem to not, uh, appreciate the classics. Some favorites:
The Catcher in the Rye (1951), Author: J.D. Salinger. “So many other good books…don’t waste your time on this one. J.D. Salinger went into hiding because he was embarrassed.” [Yeah, what was up with that kid anyway? Why was he disconnected with the world around him and how come he just couldn't get it together? No danger of that happening now that we have Prozac, so toss this trash!]
Lord of the Flies (1955), Author: William Golding. “I am obsessed with Survivor, so I thought it would be fun. WRONG!!! It is incredibly boring and disgusting. I was very much disturbed when I found young children killing each other. I think that anyone with a conscience would agree with me.” [Um, I think that was the point. You are supposed to be disgusted. And horrified. And it's supposed to tell you something about humankind. But it ain't no Survivor!]
Mrs. Dalloway (1925), Author: Virginia Woolf. “The only good thing to say about this “literary” drivel is that the person responsible, Virginia Woolf, has been dead for quite some time now. Let us pray to God she stays that way.” [Well thank God! My thesis is on VW, includes this book, and I've been searching for something to say about it. My search is over. Can someone please get me the citation information?]
To Kill a Mockingbird (1960), Author: Harper Lee. “I don’t see why this book is so fabulous. I would give it a zero. I find no point in writing a book about segregation, there’s no way of making it into an enjoyable book. And yes I am totally against segregation.” [Because of course we no longer have segregation and people of all races/nations/creeds get along perfectly. No need to learn about the unfairness and injustice done to people by folks who think they are superior. Natually, no one thinks they are superior anymore. We know we're all equal.]
Found via Hoosier Musings on the Road to Emmaus.
Per your request: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/0151009988/ref=cm_rev_sort/002-3956934-6664012?customer-reviews.sort_by=%2BOverallRating&x=10&y=10&s=books
(Sort the list by lowest rating first, then do a quick find on “drivel.”)
Here’s the full review, in case you want to use it all in your thesis:
The only good thing to say about this “literary” drivel is that the person responsible, Virginia Wolf, has been dead for quite some time now. Let us pray to God she stays that way as we, the people, all work together to make sure that no future generations ever have to read this nonsense again. Lets burn every sentence she ever penned to end all the unneccesary suffering that curious readers have to go through when they first pick up “Mrs. Dalloway.” Aside from being dreadfully boring, might I add that it is also terribly written? Thats right, you heard me. The narrative reads like the inner thoughts of a sugar crazed autistic kid with ADD in the middle of a carnival. Stream of conscience you say? Groundbreaking prose? Get off your high horse you pathetic first year English students and admit, THIS BOOK IS WORSE THAN AIDS! You should not feel compelled to like it just because your professor tells you how brilliant it is.
You are so wonderfully helpful! This covers ALL the books in my thesis! I shall turn in a three page version of this quote and be finished. 🙂 My committee will be so proud.
Whilst we are burning every sentence dear deluded VW ever penned, I guess we’ll have to lose all those feminist polemics as well. Bye bye Shakespeare’s sister. Ta ta 3 guineas. Who needs you now, eh?